Kept Hidden
by jayhogartismyangel
Summary: When Clare wants to go on a ski trip, her mother refuses. What happens when her mother is forced to tell her about what happened to Darcy?    Some EClare.


**Kept Hidden**

**Summary: When Clare wants to go on a ski trip, her mother refuses. What happens when her mother is forced to tell her about what happened to Darcy?**

**A/N: This is played out as if Clare doesn't know what happened to her sister, which I suppose could be possible. But, I've always assumed that she did know, because of what her mom said in, "Man With Two Hearts". Still though, I couldn't get this idea out of my head.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi or any of it's characters. I only own the storyline.**

Clare Edwards smiled softly and giggled as she pressed end on her cellphone. She'd just gotten done talking with her best friend, Alli Bhandari who had called to tell her about the school's annual ski trip. It would be so much fun, hanging out with her best friends, Adam and Alli and her boyfriend, Eli without any parental supervision. The hardest part would be convincing her parents to let her go, but they trusted her and they trusted Alli and Adam. Her father had taken a liking to and begun to trust Eli after Clare told him that what had occured the night that Eli had first met them, had been an act on her part to get her parents to stop their ridiculous fighting. Shrugging, she headed down the stairs, and stepped into the living room, taking a seat beside her mother on the couch.

Helen Edwards looked up and torwards her right when she felt someone sit beside her on the couch. Smiling, she reached out a slender hand to brush her youngest daughter's silky curls from her face. "Clare, dear. What's on your mind?" She asked of her.

Her daughter's blue eyes widened. a startled expression on her face. "How do you know that something's on my mind?" She questioned softly, nervously. Her hands fidgeted in her lap as she bit hard on her bottom lip.

The older woman laughed at her daughter's question and looked at her softly. "You're my little girl, Clare. I know you like the back of my hand. It's kind of my job."

Clare nodded and chewed her lip, averting her eyes. "Okay, um...there's this ski trip coming up. It apparently happens every year. Alli, Adam, and Eli are going and I was wondering if it would be okay if I could go, too?" She asked pleadingly.

The light left Helen's face and her smile dwindled down into a frown. Clare didn't know about what happened to Darcy. She didn't know about the ski trip that her sister went on without her parents' permission. She didn't know what had happened to her older sister. Didn't know that it was the whole reason that Darcy had changed so much. The reason she'd tried to commit suicide. The whole reason why she'd decided to go to Kenya so abruptly. Helen and Randall had kept it hidden from their youngest daughter, not wanting her innocence of the world to be shattered by the cold reality of the evil people in it. Helen knew that Darcy hadn't said anything about what happened to her to Clare, either. None of them had wanted Clare to fear the world. But maybe they should've told her before now. Before she'd begun highschool and had became interested in boys. Before she'd asked this question. Maybe then she'd have understood why her mother was so protective of her.

The teen frowned as she studied her mother carefully. "You're not going to let me go, are you?" She inquired quietly, sounding so disappointed, She didn't understand why her mother didn't trust her. She didn't understand why her parents were so damn overprotective. They hadn't been like this with Darcy. They'd let her stay at the house alone and go on trips for cheerleading with the school. Then, her sister had tried to end her life twice, that she knew of and her parents had sent Darcy to some kind of camp thing. They'd become so overprotective over her after that. But surely they knew that she wasn't her sister, right? She loved Darcy but she'd _never _be _her. _And she didn't want to be. It felt as if she'd finally climbed out of her sister's shadow just over a year ago and she didn't want to be put back in it once more.

Helen didn't say anything. She didn't know what _to_ say. How could she tell Clare her fears? How could she let her daughter in on the secret that she, Randall, and Darcy had been keeping for more than two years? "Clare, you don't understand. I can't let you go on that trip. Not after..." She trailed off, becoming silent once more as as she tried to put her hand on her daughter's shoulder.

Clare shrugged her off angrily and jumped up from the sofa, blue eyes looking hurt. "Don't you trust me? I'm not going to do anything! I just want to spend some time with my friends! It's not fair. You weren't like this with Darcy when she was my age." She whined sourly. She knew that she sounded childish, but at the moment, she did not care. Not one, single bit.

Helen shook her head as she felt tears sting her eyes. "Maybe we should've been like this with her. Maybe then what happened to her, would never have occured."

Clare looked at her in confusion, absolutely silent as she furrowed her brow.

Patting the spot next to her, Helen motioned for her daughter to sit down beside her, once more. "Clare, there's something that your father, Darcy, and I have kept from you for a long time. I think that it's finally time for you to know."

Clare watched her mother, waiting for her to speak once again.

"A couple of years ago, when we were going on that church retreat, Darcy told us that she was sick. We let her stay home alone and she ended up going on a ski trip. The same one that you're wanting to go on." Helen said, locking eyes with her daughter. "Something bad happened there. Something really bad. Your father and I didn't know what was wrong. We didn't know why our perfect angel was suddenly behaving so differently. And then, when she had those suicide attempts and lied about your principal, Mr. Simpson touching her innappropriatly, we decided to send her to that camp. Whatever they did there, finally convinced her to tell us what had happened to her."

Clare watched her mother closely, not even breathing as she feared what her mother was about to say. She had her suspicions, but she didn't want to be right. "What happened to her mom?" She asked softly, quietly as if she was afraid of shattering the silence. Terrified of knowing.

"Clare, Darcy was raped. Someone slipped some type of drug into her drink while she was in the bathroom. She ended up falling asleep on the couch in the ski lodge, and then she woke up the next morning, with Peter in the bed beside her. At first, she thought that she'd slept with him, but then she began to remember little things about that night, and someone told her about this roofie rapist on the loose." Her mom told her, tears spilling down her cheeks as she remembered when Darcy had told her. She was reliving that moment in her mind, though she didn't really want to.

The teen tensed against the sofa, blue eyes wide with alarm and shock. Her bottom lip trembled with emotion as she felt tears sting her eyes. "Why didn't you guy's ever tell me?" She asked, sounding hurt.

"We wanted to keep you innocent. We didn't think that you should know. We didn't want you to end up hurt when you found out that there were bad people in the world." Helen explained quickly, needing her little girl to know this.

The girl laughed increducously. "Like it doesn't hurt _now?" _She asked in complete and total disbelief. "Darcy and I shared a bedroom, mom! I'd hear Darcy _screaming _in the middle of the night, but I never knew what it was about! Ever! I didn't know how to help her!" She screamed, fist clenching and unclenching at her sides as she gritted her teeth. She shook her head wildly and whirled around, running torwards the front door and throwing it open. Without looking back, she ran out, pulling her cellphone from the pocket of her jeans and dialing a number as she came upon the park that she and Darcy had visited when they were little kids. When nothing bad had occured in their lives yet. When everything was still innocent to them and untouched.

000000

Clare was swinging herself slowly on the old swing, staring at the grass when she heard a cracking noise that sounded like a branch snapping in half.

"Clare?" A soft voice inquired softly, worriedly.

She looked up, cheeks red and eyes bloodshot and swollen. Her cheeks were tearstained and she took in some heaving breaths. Her boyfriend, Eli Goldsworthy stood there, staring at her sadly, wondering what was wrong with her. He'd never really seen his girlfriend this upset. Not since her parents fighting and their divorce.

"What's wrong?" He asked of her, moving to take a seat beside her on the swing. He wrapped a long arm around her slender, shaking shoulders.

Instead of answering his question, she looked around the park she knew so well, resting her head on his shoulder. "My sister and I used to come here with our mom and dad when we were younger. We used to pretend that we were princesses and mom and dad were the king and queen. She chewed her lower lip. "We didn't know that bad things happened in the world. The thought really, never occured to us. When Darcy went into highschool, she was so popular and pretty. And she was a cheerleader. She had a thing for the bad boys, I guess you could say. First Spinner Mason and then Peter Stone, who got her involved in posting sexy pictures online. I remember being thirteen years old and walking back to my house with my sister when a guy Darcy had been communicating with online, who'd sent her money for new uniforms came up to us. Apparently, he found out that she went to Degrassi and found her and followed us home from there. We were both so scared. Darcy didn't expect him to be as old as he was. Anyway, I didn't think anything could be worse than that. Until I found out something that my parents and sister have been keeping from me for about two years."

Eli looked at her with caring green eyes. He reached up a hand, brushing the tears from her blue eyes and rubbing her cheek softly, comfortingly.

Clare looked up, meeting his eyes for the first time tonight. "Mom told me that I couldn't go on the ski trip and when I asked _why_, she told me that something really bad happened to Darcy when she went on the trip. I didn't want to believe it. I still don't. I don't understand how something so horrible could happen to my sister. She didn't deserve it." She said, voice shaking and cracking with overwhelming emotion.

"What happened to her?" He asked her, brushing her short curls away from her face.

"Someone drugged her drink with roofies and she apparently woke up in bed with her boyfriend. She wanted to believe that she'd slept with him. She didn't want to believe that something like that could happen to her but she remembered a little bit of what happened that night. She knew that she hadn't wanted it and that it hadn't been Peter. She couldn't stop it and she couldn't say no. She really had no idea of what was going on." She was heaving as she said the words in a rush, more hot, stinging tears pouring down her cheeks as her hands gripped the ropes of the swing, tightly.

Eli hugged her close, not knowing what to tell her. His hand ran through her hair and he rested his chin on the top of her head. He couldn't really imagine what his girlfriend was going through. He couldn't imagine dealing with what Darcy had to deal with. It just didn't seem real to him.

"You know, she tried to commit suicide atleast twice that I know of after that. I had no idea why. I had no idea why she woke up screaming in the middle of the night either. And when she left for Kenya over a year ago, I thought it was just because she wanted to help the children there, but now I know her other reason. She wanted to get away from here. She didn't want to remember what happened to her. Can you imagine having to go in school everyday and wondering if that was the guy who ra-_h-hurt_ you?" She asked, choking a little bit on her sobs as she let out a bitter laugh. Hands clenching tightly at the ropes.

He couldn't imagine it. He couldn't imagine it in the least, nor did he want to. Instead, he hugged Clare tigher to him and pressed a kiss to her wet cheek. "There was nothing you could've done Clare. I can't tell you why someone would do that to your sister because I don't understand it. But it wasn't your fault. And your parents-they wanted to protect you. So did Darcy. They were doing what they thought was best when they didn't tell you. It may have been wrong, but they love you, Clare."

She didn't say anything, just stared up at the night sky. She'd never wanted to hurt someone in her life before, but she yearned to find the monster who had hurt her sister, who had changed her so much and torture them. To make them feel every bit of the pain that Darcy must've felt.

**End**


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